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| BJ Resting Up for His Next Adventure |
When we began our full-time RV adventure, I was operating under a misconception. I believed that it would be a new adventure every day! But that is a formula for left lane living – rushing from one adventure to another. Instead, the days developed their own routines, and the adventures grew further apart as we ran out of new things to see and do. Also, the constant moving and reduced adventure began to weigh on us. In short, living in the left lane wore us down, and we looked forward to our wintering along the Gulf Coast almost as much as the travels throughout the rest of the year. When the medication supply issue came up, the final nail was driven into the coffin of our full-time life. In the last couple of months, as I have processed all of this, it has become clear that this is a natural process for people entering and going through retirement.
We began our retirement as an extension of the previous 40 years of busyness. After a lifetime of doing stuff, it is hard to imagine a life of not doing stuff. It seemed like a waste of all-too-precious time. As I look back, I wonder if this was a larger part of my desire for wandering than I was (or am) willing to admit. This will take a bit more pondering, but for now, I am interested in understanding our new right-lane lives as part-time RVers.
Our challenge will be (as it has always been) finding Joy in the ordinary routines of life. Whether we are on the road or in the apartment, this challenge will be present. In my first book, I described joy as a hallmark of spiritually healthy living, a lesson I learned from a dear companion for 14 years, a Boston Terrier named BJ. In 2009, I wrote:
“This dog understood that each and every day was a gift. Sure, he trembled at the first hint of thunder and looked up at us with watery, sad eyes when we left him alone. If anyone so much as slowed down in front of our house he would bark, warning them to stay away from our door. His real gift was the ability to let the sorrows of yesterday stay in the past and the worries of the future stay where they belonged, tomorrow. This little creature allowed the joy of every single day to fill his life with all the good things that life had offered him.” (From “The Journey of a Lifetime: Seeking Spiritual Health” by Robert L. Dees, 2009)
Under BJ's tutelage, I began to understand that joy means celebrating each day as a gift from the universe. Some days inspire more gratitude than others. Some may bring joy only at the end. But every day offers us the opportunity to live expectantly, hopefully, in the moment, in connection with others, and with the best of who we are. This gift becomes real in each day's moment-by-moment experiences. Each new day is an opportunity for joy if we have a healthy spirit that reaches out and savor it in our body, mind, and soul. Think of it as carpe diem by a soul that lives in love, trust, and hope.
This is what daily joy looks like to this right lane living part-time RV guy.
A Good Meal – This may be a plate of Thai food at a new restaurant or a bowl of beanie weenies lovingly prepared by me or by my companion of 50+ years. Sometimes the joy is in the discovery of new flavors. Sometimes it is more about sharing it with people who fill your soul with gratitude and joy, a reminder of the love and connection we share. It may bring back memories of other meals and other people who have sat at the table. It may simply be a quick 8-9 bites that will help your "fuel-up" for the day that promises other kinds of joy. A good meal is a regular opportunity to know that joy awaits the hopeful spirit.
The Aroma of the Smoker – I have been an avid BBQ’er for 60 years. The dads in my life taught me the mysteries and magic of combining smoke and meat. Yes, I enjoy eating it, but cooking brings me even more joy. There is something primal about sitting around while the aroma of seasoned meat is being carried on wave after wave of smoke. Is it about some deep need to provide food for the tribe? Maybe. Is it about anticipating the taste of that well-seasoned morsel that I pulled from that rib? Absolutely, a testament to the joy of anticipation. Is it about remembering my Dad opening the 4X6 lid on his hand-built smoker and seeing the joy on his face as he surveyed his day's offerings for the family? Absolutely. Is it about listening to my Father-in-law as he explains the intricacies of "Washington County Mop Sauce" to his new son-in-law, effectively making him part of the family? No doubt! But mostly it is about a moment when my soul celebrates the gift of life as past, present, and future with two simple words, "Thank you!"
A Rabbit-like Idea that pops in my mind at 4:30 AM – Most of my best thinking happens between 4:00 and 7:00 AM after an idea has popped up out of the rabbit hole of my dreams. Generally, if it is interesting enough, it will stir my mind to awareness. I will start chasing that "rabbit" from hole to hole. I will add on to the idea or pare it back a tad. It may suggest a new insight or language for understanding it. It may prompt me to set aside an old idea and look at something from a new perspective. Over the years, I have learned to open the notes on my iPhone and start recording a sentence or two of the ideas to get back to sleep without fear of losing the thought. Often, however, I will snuggle back into my pillow only to have the d$%m rabbit pop back out and start running to another hope. This may happen a few times, or it may go on until I reach the point of no return and I get out of bed and start my day. These moments are true gifts and have allowed me to explore places I never thought I could go. Those notes become thinking points that evolve into bits and pieces of an outline that coalesce into a draft of a piece that generally ends up in one of my blogs, where I experience the joy of having written. Every step along the way fills me with the joy of knowing that I am still engaged and celebrating the mystery and wonder of life.
Sunshine – As a child of the '60s, I grew up in the sunshine. As children, we were deprived of on-demand, 24-hour entertainment by our televisions, which, along with a radio, were the only electronic devices available. We had to make our own entertainment, which usually involved being outside and with many other neighborhood kids. The sunshine offered freedom, exploration, companionship, adventures, and all the good stuff of life. When I step outside of an air-conditioned building, I celebrate the warmth of the sunshine, drawing me out into the world. I have never minded heat. I am blessed with active sweat glands that provide all the cooling I need on hot Summer (or more recently, Fall, Winter, and Spring) days. Hydration, hats, and hiking have become integral parts of our lives over the last few years. To quote a favorite song, “Sunshine, on my shoulder, makes me happy.” Sunshine reminds me that I am alive! And, in our new lives as part-time RVers, this will be one of the challenges. I am counting on the sunshine to draw me out of my modern, air-conditioned cave.
A gentle rain – Paradoxically, along with sunshine, a gentle rain also touches my soul with joy. I grew up in a house with a tin roof. I have glorious memories of lying in bed listening to the rain and thunder echoing through the ceiling. An aged and ill W.C. Fields was reported to need the sound of rain to get some rest. I can completely understand how he felt. Rain showers offer music to my soul. They are precursors for fields of glorious wildflowers. They fill streams with laughing, splashing waters. Gentle rains provide a cooling respite from a Summer Heat Wave. And, in the winter, they could become the most cherished childhood weather, SNOW! A gentle rain allows my soul to know that joy is a constant companion to the mind and body that remembers and experiences its gentle rhythm.
Clean laundry – when I was little, clean clothes were just part of life. They appeared periodically in my Chest of Drawers, and I never really gave them a second thought. This continued to be true for most of my life. I would do the occasional load from time to time, but the division of chores in my life generally meant that laundry was not on my daily to-do list. When I retired, this changed a bit. I started doing my own clothes. Marlene did not trust me with the intricacies of laundering her clothes. Since we have been on the road, we have been sharing more and more laundry chores, which has become part of our weekly routine. In the process, I realized that clean clothes do not simply appear. They are the gift of those who understand the esoterica of fabrics, water, and chemicals and then take the time to do the work. When I pull on fresh clothes each morning, I am grateful for the hands and hearts responsible for making these things magically appear.
Quiet moments with our best friend – One of the best moments in our lives in the right lane is when I get to spend time with my best friend. We have been together for 51 years, but many of those years were spent working 8-10 hours a day, earning a living and making a life. She and I both did things that we enjoyed, and loved our careers. But now, I look forward to being with her. Note, I said being with her. We enjoy doing things together, but the real magic for me is being in close proximity. We share random thoughts and ideas that we run across. We ask, "What do you want for lunch?" The reply is generally, "I don't know. What do you want?" and is usually followed by a shared smile! These magic moments happen regularly when two people walk together in joy.
Frankly, I could keep describing moments when a text appears from a longtime friend, or when I rest my eyes for a quick nap that lasts 45 minutes. Every day is an occasion for joy, even when troubled or disturbed by unfortunate events or circumstances. As long as I remain open to the moments like those listed above, every day is an opportunity for joy. This openness is easier if I stay in the right lane of life. If I stay off the accelerator and let those in a hurry go on, I can enjoy the moment-by-moment joys that appear along the road.
Retirement is not for everyone, nor is it about staying busy until you die. For me, retirement is all about finding life in the right lane. I have found new life along this road, and I am grateful to all of you for sharing this path with me. May you find joy in your everyday routine. May every day be an opportunity for joy to lift your soul in gratitude for the gift of life.
Travel well, my friends!
Blessings,
Bob
